Clientele
by Odyssion
Summary: [PWP oneshot, some Saiga x Kakei, Kazahaya x Rikuo] Have you ever wondered where the hell Kakei gets his clients? Kazahaya has... and he’ll stop at almost nothing to find out.


**Clientele**

_Disclaimer:_ This is a purely non-profit story for entertainment purposes only. All characters of Legal Drug belong to their respective owners.

_WARNING:_ One major spoiler for the 3rd manga. If you don't want to know, I suggest you don't read yet.

_Author's Notes: _Some more Legal Drug for those of you who need a fix. I've always wondered where and how Kakei gets clients, so this was for my own curiosity as well. Granted, nothing really gets resolved… but (when I get a good creative idea) that's what sequels are for.

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**Clientele**

He had never thought about it, really, but now that he did, it really bothered him that he didn't know. He had been working at the store for months, and during that time had done countless of these side jobs, and yet it had not occurred to him until now to wonder where and how Kakei got his clients. The services they provided couldn't exactly be advertised; what could you write to describe what they did? "Any odd jobs you need done"? That just sounded downright weird (not to mention corny), and people were bound to get the wrong idea (after all, it's a sick, sick world).

It occurred to him that he had never met these clients, so he really had no one to ask. Then he remembered that he had indeed met a client, although he hadn't known it until after their job had been over. Mukofujiwara seemed far too young to need help of the supernatural kind; he definitely wasn't what Kazahaya had ever pictured a 'client' to look like. After all, most of the things they had been sent to retrieve had been… feminine, to say the least. A diary, a vase, a ring… but he supposed the cat and the fireflies were a little more unisex, although not entirely masculine. He had never talked to Mukofujiwara personally, but Rikuo had roomed with him for a few weeks; they were bound to talk about something or other. What else could two boys that size do in a cramped dorm room?

He flinched as he remembered all the insinuating situations between he and Rikuo, and turned his thoughts away from such… inappropriate topics. His new self-assigned mission was to figure out how Kakei found clients, and to that end, he sought Rikuo to find some answers.

He found the other boy sitting stoically in their kitchen, a mug of tea on the desk in front of him and the newspaper hiding his face. Rikuo didn't seem to notice him, but then again, the dark-haired boy had a bad habit of ignoring Kazahaya altogether.

"Hey, Rikuo," Kazahaya began, trying to be as polite as possible.

"Yeah?" Rikuo answered, not bothering to look up.

"Did Mukofujiwara ever tell you how he met Kakei?"

There was a pause, and Rikuo folded the top half of the newspaper over so he could see Kazahaya's face. "No, we never talked about it. Why?"

"Oh, nothing important. I was just wondering, that's all."

"Kakei probably gets calls or something. Or maybe he calls them… after all, he **can** see the future."

Kazahaya was surprised by this piece of information. "Really? I didn't know that. How come you knew and I didn't?"

"Probably because you don't need to know," Rikuo replied, and turned back to his newspaper. Irked, Kazahaya would've retorted, but Rikuo's words had given him a new idea: if Kazahaya called his clients, he would just have to catch him during one of those phone calls. He had seen Kakei make various calls from his office during the pharmacy's working hours, and he had always wondered what they were about. Feeling terribly pleased with himself, he felt he was set to find out the truth.

The next day at work, Kazahaya was even more accident-prone than usual. He was too busy watching Kakei out of the corner of his eye to watch his own movements, and ended up capsizing the shelf he was supposed to be re-stocking. Rikuo had to haul him out from under the boxes, and he was looking thoroughly pissed.

"What the heck are you doing!" he fumed, and ushered Kazahaya away. "Here, I'll take care of these. You can go mop the floor, I don't see how you can mess **that** up."

Annoyed at his roommate's lack of curiosity and respect for his detective work, Kazahaya found that mopping led him extremely close to Kakei's office. The door was slightly ajar, and the blond edged closer to it. Inside, Kakei was speaking… and Kazahaya felt that he had hit the jackpot. Saiga was out today; Kakei definitely had to be on the phone.

He pressed his ear to the opening, and he could clearly hear Kakei's voice.

"Oh, yes, definitely," Kakei was saying. "I agree entirely. I'm sure something can be worked out, if that's what you need."

_'This is it!'_ Kazahaya thought. _'Just let me know it's a client…'_

"They were excellent," Kakei said, sounding thoroughly amused. "Sold out in a flash; the women love them. Yes, so I'll just order thirty more boxes of the rippled condoms, and that tingly new lubricant… yes, yes, that's the one—"

Kazahaya drew back in horror, his face flaming red. Obviously that wasn't a client call.

He heard Kakei hang up the phone and quickly grabbed his mop and bucket, pushing it further away from the office door. In his haste, he hadn't seen Rikuo and collided hard with the taller boy's torso.

"Damn it, Kazahaya!" Rikuo had groaned, but when he saw Kazahaya's red face, he was puzzled. "What's wrong with you?"

Kazahaya, who had been apologizing profoundly, replied, "Nothing!" and hurried away.

The next few days, Kazahaya repeated this same pattern of tracing Kakei's steps. He tried to peek at the mail; he tried to pick up snatches of phone calls (although with less zeal), and was generally just being a shadow (or so he thought). His clumsiness increased tenfold (much to Rikuo's chagrin), but he didn't seem to be getting anywhere in his pursuit. Finally, he gave Kakei up as a lost cause. If Kakei did contact clients personally, it wasn't during office hours.

Later that night, when they had been resting in their room for some time, Kazahaya decided to confront Rikuo again.

"Hey, Rikuo," he began in the same way, finding Rikuo in the middle cleaning the bathroom.

"What is it now?" Rikuo asked wearily, exhausted from cleaning up Kazahaya's messes the whole week.

"You were wrong about Kakei calling clients," he stated, feeling the blood creep to his face.

"It was just a theory, I never said I was right," Rikuo shrugged, and returned to his scrubbing.

"But then… how else could he get people to use us as their delivery boys?"

"Who knows, maybe Saiga gets them here or something. He's always around, that's probably what he does in his spare time."

"Hey, I bet you're right!" Kazahaya was brightened by this prospect; he had been more than a little disappointed to find that Kakei didn't contact his clients by phone. "Hmm… but… I wonder how I can prove that?" he muttered to himself, as Rikuo was having a fervent battle with the soap scum and not listening to a word he was saying.

-

It was a Saturday, and Kakei had given him the day off (the reason unknown to him was because of Rikuo's pleading). He was still resolved to find out about this business of Kakei's, and since he wasn't working, he thought it was the perfect opportunity to follow Saiga and see where that led him. As it stood, he had followed Saiga out of the store early in the morning, and had tailed him through what felt like the entire city. He watched Saiga browsing CDs, cook books, eating at a restaurant, and finally watched him buy some rope from a hardware store. He didn't seem to talk to anyone, or be in any hurry to meet anyone anywhere. Kazahaya was about to give in and head back (it was a sweltering day and he was dying in the heat), when Saiga's cell phone rang. Kazahaya perked up immediately.

"Hello? Yeah, I'm on my way there now. See you in 10 minutes."

Now very alert, Kazahaya tracked Saiga closely, not wanting to lose him now that he was so close to finding out the truth. Eventually, Saiga led them into a small side street that was entirely deserted save for a little inn. It was a square and stout brick building trimmed with hedges, visibly old but not run-down. He didn't follow as Saiga entered through the front doors, but crouched low in the hedges and watched him at the counter as he picked up a key and walked into the nearest room to the right. Kazahaya moved along to the side of the building, where he hoped there would be a window for him to see what Saiga was doing. As it turned out, he was in luck. Saiga was standing right at the door of the room, and someone was standing near the window. This someone's back was to Kazahaya, but he could swear the figure looked awfully familiar…

He couldn't hear their conversation, but he saw Saiga talking and stopped moving to concentrate. He wondered if this was a client, coming to negotiate terms with Saiga. It made some sense… their conversation had gone on for a while now, but Kazahaya thought that an inn was a funny place to meet people…

Saiga had walked closer to the unidentified person, so that they were face to face… Kazahaya wished he could see who it was… then both Saiga and the person suddenly turned sideways, and Kazahaya caught a brief glimpse of piercing eyes and glasses…

_KAKEI?_

His mind was reeling; what would Saiga and Kakei be doing sneaking out together to an inn? But he didn't have to wait long for his answer. Saiga had pulled out the rope he had bought earlier and had tied Kakei's hands together, and began undoing Kakei's shirt and kissing him passionately. Startled, he had to clamp his hand over his mouth to keep from screaming, and ducked down beneath the hedges to slip away.

Saiga had paused in his ministrations, and looked out the window. "What was that? I thought I heard something…"

"Oh, it's nothing," Kakei smiled, turning his lover's face to his and urging him to continue. "Just a cat scared out of the hedges."

Saiga was more than ready to accept this explanation, and didn't need any more urging…

-

"You're **so **totally wrong, Rikuo!" Kazahaya fumed when he finally got back. He had been so shocked by what he had seen that he had run away without thinking, and had wound up lost for hours. It was almost dark by the time he stormed up to their room to face his roommate.

"About what?" Rikuo asked, in the middle of eating dinner.

"About Saiga! I followed him today, and he didn't see a client at all. He… he…" Blood was rushing to his face again. "Well, it doesn't matter, but you were just wrong!"

"Ok," Rikuo stated, and continued to eat.

"Ok? OK? **That's all you have to say to me?**"

"Is there supposed to be more?"

"How about, 'Sorry for misleading you, Kazahaya' or, 'I'm stupid, never listen to me'?"

"I was just suggesting; it's your fault for listening. Besides, didn't you come to me for advice?"

"Ugggh, you're useless! Now I'll never find out."

"Has it ever occurred to you to just ASK him?"

"Oh." Silence. "Well, I'm not going to do that!"

"Why not?"

"Because! Kakei can be really scary… and he'd never tell me."

"How do **you **know?"

"I just do."

"Fine, have it your way."

"Rikuooooo."

"What?"

"Help meeee."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"Not on your life."

"Rikuo, don't be so heartless."

"Whatever."

"Why are you so mean?"

"Probably because you're my roommate."

"I hate you!"

**END**

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_AN:_ Sort of a bad ending, I apologize… but I couldn't think of a better way to do it. In any case, I hope you enjoyed. I'm thinking of writing a Saiga/Kakei fic (they're so kawaii ), but I might wait for the 4th book to come out before I do.


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